THE EMOTIONAL FUNCTION OF
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS
“FORGING REGIONAL COOPERATION IN
THE
MEDITERRANEAN BASIN”
ARLES,
MAY 27-28th 1999.
INSTITUTE FOR POLITICAL SCIENCE OF THE
HUNGARIAN ACADEMY OF SCIENCES
H-1068 BUDAPEST, BENCZÚR U. 33.
E-MAIL: UTASI@MTAPTI.HU
THE EMOTIONAL
FUNCTIONS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS
Requirements
and necessities are regulated in a hierarchy according to their function of
living conditions.
The
level of requirements of the lowest in the social order is characterized by the
wish and desire stratum to satisfy their primary necessities, namely roof above
their head, food and clothing. Having been able to satisfy the primary
necessities and biological requirements of the individual, soon the claim for
companions, family and friends appear, then desiring the appreciation and
positive evaluation of the surrounding the desire for prestige appears as a
further necessity together with the wish to emerge from the community. If the
individual feels that its claim for prestige has been satisfied, the wish to
satisfy the individual necessities breaks into the front together with the
desire to become independent from the surrounding community. /Maslow, A. 1954,
Halbwachs, M. 1913, Losonczi, Á. 1977, Utasi, Á. 1984/
Most
of the university students can live under relatively favourable conditions in
modern societies, in any case get above the level to satisfy their primary
necessities. Among the value preferences the requirement to become integrated
into the surrounding community and wishing to acquire the appreciation of the
surrounding community, or passing even further the requirement for independence
and becoming individual, appears in the system of prefererces. In our survey we
examine these differentiated requirements in the dimension of informal and
formal relations, primarily from the aspect of different emotional functions
with regard to the contacts.
Accepting
the fact that the majority of relations are based on mutuality, and that in
addition to the reciprocal relations - primarily among parents and children and
in the value-conducted contacts - an asymmetric altruism appears, we presume
that the majority of contacts carry out a certain task and satisfy some requirement
in human life. /Balu, P. 1982, Weber, M. 1987/
Individuals
mostly expect different help and support from persons belonging to their
network of contacts and hope for the satisfaction of their different problems.
There are some contacts which mainly provide instrumental help of a physical
character while others provide more emotional understanding, indulgence, love
or companionship. This survey hardly covers dominantly instrumental help,
namely providing work or material assets, we placed more emphasis on emotional
and understanding assistance and wish to reveal the operation of expressive and
emotional contacts with our investigation among the university students. In
fact we believe that among the tasks and requirements of contacts those
catalizing contacts are of on outstanding role which promote an emotional
security and the role and significance of this becomes more important for those
who live under increasingly favourable living conditions. /Balu, P. 1982,
Granovetter, M. 1976, Weber, M. 1987/
Following
the theory of Max Weber we wish to take into consideration that the motivations
to acting are linked in most human contacts and we can rarely speak about
acting motivated by separate emotions, and thus about contact exclusively
motivated by emotions. The effect of emotion mostly appears to some extent in
the target-rationally motivated contacts. Namely that some contact motivation
may become dominant in the contacts, but mostly they do not acquire autocracy.
Being aware of this we do not forget that when we try to reveal emotional help
and contacts it is most possible that while providing emotional help, they
would also provide instrumental assistance to the interviewees within certain
areas. On the other hand, following the Maxweberian theory we have to take into
consideration that it is not solely the emotion which motivates the areas
dominantly analized by us, usually there are both the aim and value in the
background wich to some extent rationalize the acting of those participating in
the contact. /Max Weber, 1987/
Requirements
with regard to contacts
In
our investigation we were searching for the emotional requirements with regard
to the contacts of the university students, for the satisfaction of such
requirements belonging to the contact-network of the students, the ability of
students to set up contacts, namely the extent how open they are to set up
human contacts and what weight optimism and pessimism reperesent in their
outlook. We recorded the sample in two university towns (Szeged and Veszprém,
1999. N=751). We are able to compare the Hungarian data in some areas with the
data of a similar survey (Pines, A. 1999) taken in Israel, in Tel Aviv among
the students of the Ben Gurion University (N=150) at the same time.
First
we surveyed how the students find it important or perhaps indispensable that
(1) some of their contacts should "listen to" them, (2) to appreciate
their output, (3) to encourage them with evaluation for further action. (4) to
assist them emotionally and (5) perhaps encourage them with realistic remarks
to engage in challenge or (6) become a friendly partner in the discussion of
everyday issues. Each question containing the indicated different emotional
contact function was marked by the students in the sample from 1 (less
important) to 7 (very important) /Pines, A.
Aronson, E. 1988/.
With
regard to the questions containing the requirements of the contacts considered
in six contact functions, the Hungarian students
emphasized the importance of the companion indispensable to discuss everyday
problems. Two third of the interviewees indicated the top two grades of the
seven-grade scale, expressing that such a contact is very important in their
life (Grade 6-7=69 %). A similar emotional function is indicated by those
contacts which are unconditional solidarity with the interviewee, are suporting
him in every issue, provide emotional
support with their compassion, thus reassuring him in the correctness of his
deed. The contact providing such emotional support is also very important
for more than half of the interviewees (Grade 6-7 by 50.4 %) There is also a
high ratio of those who simply desire to be listened to, "accepting"
their problems, with whom they can "discuss" their sorrow or joy
(Grade 6-7 by 48 %).
From
among the contact functions listed on the questionnaire, the interviewees least
referred to the contact encouraging, and motivating output and challenge through objective remarks
(Grade 6-7 by 25.5 %). Most probably quietude is more pleasant while the
"cool" remark encouraging further deeds and challenges usually
disturbs "sleepy" stillness or a self-picture radiating conceited
confidence, not infrequently inducing unpleasant feelings from the individual.
Nevertheless a contact encouraging challenges can be more useful from the point
of view of the development and promotion of the individual than the relative or
friend who uncoditionally accepts and provides exclusively
"emotional" assistance.
Even
less of the interviewees require contacts which encourage better output through critieism (Grade 6-7 by 19.7 %).
The contacts encouraging with "objective" remarks and
"judgement" are both refused by one tenth (Grade 1) and are
considered far from being indispensable in their life style.
In
contrast to the latter there is a high ration of those who desire contacts appreciating their output
(Grade 6-7 by 65 %). Encouragement an the appreciation
of their work is almost of the same importance for the interviewees than
conversing with somebody and share their problems as equal partners. From
among the emotional contact dimensions the two last functions indicated the
most general requirements among the university students. The continuous
evaluation and constant appreciation of work and output is most probably
missing from the life of the university students for mostly the exam-period
provides an opportunity to control performance. Based on the answers it can by
safely presumed that the students expect more and more frequent acknowledgement
and appreciation concerning their energy invested in their work. However, as
the control of the discovered requirements is also necessary to examine how far
the members of the contact network of the university students are able to
satisfy the contact requirements.
Are the
existing contacts of the interviewees able to satisfy the contact functions
preferred by them and indicated as requirements?
In
the above description we found the differentiated importance of dissimilar
contact functions. The role fo the
partner in the dialogue over everyday problems and the role of the contact
appreciating and acknowledging output excelled. When indicating on the
seven-grade scale how far their present contacts satisfy their requirements in
the field of their various functions, the existence of a partnerin-discussion
was indicated to the same ratio to the earlier expressed preferred importance
among the requirements. More than half of the interviewees (Grade 6-7 by 58 %)
were found on the top two grades of the scale - among those who felt that they
have the proper contact for duscussing their problems. While two third of the
interviewees definitely expressed their requirement that their contacts should appreciate and acknowledge their output, only one hird of the interviewees indicated that
they have such contacts (Grade 6-7 by 32 %). Namely the requirement for
appreciative words went to a considerably higher sample than the ratio of those
who receive appreciation from their contacts in the contact network, which in
fact means that a significant shortage can be found in the existing contacts,
compared to the requirements.
A
contrasting result can be seen in the two least preferred areas of the
requirements: the requirements for judgement and objective remarks encouraging
output and the comparison with the existing contacts regarding satisfaction.
The existing contacts encouraging output
with evaluation show a slightly higher ration (Grade 6-7 by 25 %) than
indicated by the ration of the requirement of judgement by the interviewees.
The contacts indicating emotional challenge
with objective remarks appear with a similar
ratio in the contact network than
the ratio expressing an explicit
requirement with regard to the importance of such contacts (Grade 6-7 by 25
%). Namely it seems that the interviewees regard both the encouraging remarks
and judgement in a "satisfactory stock" among their contacts.
The
correlating contact of the variants expressing the requirement for various
contact functions and their existence within the contact network also indicate
- in addition to the previous conclusions - that the requirements become
arranged into contact types, they seem to become linked. Those who wish to
"be listened to" also reckon with finding a partner to discuss their
problems and vice versa. Those who expect appreciation from their contacts
mostly wish to be listened to. Those who prefer objective remarks to
emotionally activize them, also highly appreciate the remarks which enourage
output. Those who consider emotional assistance of great importance also wish
to have partners to be able to understand their problems and listen to their
partners to the same extent.
Thus
the requirements are differentiated in particular groups. There are some which
primarily
1./ long for a
partner who understands and appreciates their problems, while others
2./ place emphasis
on contacts which motivate encouragement, challenge and achievement and there
are who
3./ consider the
partner providing emotional support as the most important contact function.
The
correlation data also indicated that those who avail themselves of supporting
contacts in any field and in any function will most probably find some within
their contact network who will satisfy their requirements also in the field of
other contact functions. Those who are listened to are most probably
emotionally also supported (Corr. 65**) and also finc a partner to discuss
their problems (Corr. 69**). If somebody is encouraged by judgement is mostly
also emotionally activized by somebody from his circle of contacts (Corr.
52**). Those whose achievement is appreciated usually have a contact who
listens to him (Corr. 59**) and supports him emotionally (Corr. 56**).
Presumably
part of the existing contacts play a multiplex
contact funciton in the life of the university students and on the other
hand it can also be stated that those who have assisting contacts in any field
are more able to build contacts or are initially socialized in a circle of
contacts where they have a greater stock of contacts which is suitable to cover
various functions and find somebody to solve all their problems. At the same
time the opposite is also true, namely that those university students who are
lacking the contact which ensures some contact function frequently do not
receive or do not expect contact support in the field of other contact
functions.
The
differentiated role of contacts of dissimilar
content played
in emotional support
The
earlier analized six different emotional support contacts were further analized
depending on who is primarily reckoned with or what type of contact is hoped
for by the interviewees with regard to the various functions in their contact
network.
According
to the answers the students considered friends
(43 %) and partners (19.4 %) as
those who simply listen and understand
their problems, then the third person in this order was defined as mothers (14 %). There were very few who
did not find anybody among their contacts who would listen to their sorrow or
joy, or who in an introvert menner would not take this opportunity to share
their thoughts with others (5 %).
The
contacts of the interviewees who are not simply receptors but genuine partners
in discussion over everyday problems and thoughts can also be found among the fiends (45 %) and spouses or cohabiting
partners (20 %) followed by university mates (9 %) and fathers (7.5 %). Obiously people
primarily share their everyday thoughts with those who they are with day after
day. If university students discuss their everyday problems with their parents,
they are more reckoning with their fathers and more listen to their opinion
than to those of their mother. At the same time a higher ratio than the
previous find nobody among their contacts who would be, suitable to discuss
their thoughts (7 %). Most probably these latter will also remain alone when
making significant decisions frequently requiring an emotional burden.
Compassionate
emotional support is provided by friends (27 %) and spouses-partners (24 %) to a similar ratio, followed according to
the answers by the parents: primarily by fathers
(22 %) then by mothers (14.4 %).
Finally the interviewees expect compassionate support from their dominantly
"strong contacts" while there is also a high ratio of those who do not receive any spiritual support
(7.2 %) /Granovetter, 1976/.
Among
the contacts emotionally motivating with
objective remarks first we find friends (30 %) then the persons of prestige: fathers (16.5 %) and university professors and teachers (10.5 %). The ratio of those not
counting (or not being able to count) on such emotional motivation is high, at
least every tenth interviewee (12 %) feels that he has no such contact which
would emotionally rouse him with objective remarks, or would encourage
challenge and motivate him. Although earlier we also experienced that this
function appeared with a low ratio among the requirements.
Compared
with the latter the contact encouraging
action with criticism and judgement indicates a stronger motivation. In
this field fathers (25 %) comprising
high prestige within the family and teachers
(25 %) lead the order followed by friends
(14 %). However every tenth interviewee (10 %) believes not to receive any
critical encouragement from anybody and here we can refer to the previous where
we found that a similar ratio does not enven request critical encouragement.
Among
the emotional contact requirements we found a high desire for the appreciation and evaluation of output.
Again fathers (28 %) and professors - teachers (21 %) lead the line among confidential supporters. Friends (15 %) and mothers (12 %) appear with a lower chance among those expressing
value evaluation, in this field their prestige seems to be lower among
university stuedents and partners can also not be found among the “critics”. We
also found a lack of contacts appreciating achievement among more than a few
interviewees (7 %).
All
this reveals that friendly contacts
are of extreme significance among university students and primarily their
social-inderstanding function. According to the summary contacts prefering
different functions, the second
outstanding role is played by fathers, namely primarily in the field of
criticism, encouragement, or instructive
“prestige-like” contact functions and not or hardly concerning the contact
function playing the role of a problem appreciating companion.
The
influencing, emotionally motivating, encouraging and controlling role of the
partners is on the third place in the summary. As a
consequence of the frequently “blinding” close emotional link of spouses and
partners they more infrequently formulate objective remarks which would entice
the other part to engage in a higher output. With a strong emotional commitment
and link partners do not clearly see the task the interviewees have to carry
out, occasionally they do not see their faults or under the impact of fear to
loose the person, so important for them, they more rarely undertake the role of
the “critic”. Thus partners can be more frequently found among those who
provide unconditional emotional support, listen to problems and discuss
everyday issues, than among those contacts which encourage challenge or
undertake functions.
The
role of mothers is also particular.
Our earlier investigation of national samples indicated the exceeding emotional
support of mothers together with the emotionally confidential and compassionate
role they play /Cseh-Szombathy, 1979, Utasi, 1991/. Now we experienced that
somewhat different from that of the mothers, the contact function of fathers is
more stratified among university students particularly concerning the
prestiguous opinion linked with everyday questions and encouragement to work
and output. This indicates that within the families of university students the
paternal prestige is higher than that of mothers and if the interviewees do not
exclusively require unconditional understanding, the paternal opinion is more
important for them than the maternal one. This is also confirmed in the
university student sample where the average schooling level of fathers is
higher and if university students desire criticism and objective remarks with
regard to their school achievements and ask for a parental opinion they most
probably turn to their higher educated father than their mother.
At
the same time, according to our investigation, ex functions providing emotional
warmth and support is played by mothers to a considerable ratio in present
Hungarian families /Utasi, 1994/. However university students represent a
particular stratum, and this role does not primarily belong to mothers among
them, but to friends and partners. Thus the relationship of university students
to their mother indicates a certain difference to that of the national sample.
It seems that the maternal emotional compassion - understanding seems to be
shared with that of supporting friends and partners.
The choice of
contacts providing emotional
support in
some concrete life situations
Outlining
a few concrete life situations as if supervising the above description we
further examined the support expected by university students from their
contacts of different content and the dissimilar contact role meant for them.
The questions were directed to the opinion of the interviewee which contact he
reckons with in the given situation requiring help and who he hopes will
primarily provide assistance /ISSP, 1986/.
In
the first described life situation the interviewee quarrels with his spouse or partner and he wishes to share the
following emotional tension with somebody and wants to speak about it. Almost
half of the university interviewees would
have first spoken about it with their friend (41 %), while every fourth would have tried to clear the
misunderstanding with the partner or spouse, namely with the most concerned
one (26 %). The next group would discuss such
similar problems with their mother (16 %), perhaps with the sister (16 %),
but no other contact was mentioned in the answers.
With
regard to a conflict with the partner the second choice of emotional supporters
covered close friends (24 %), mothers (24 %), then more distant friends (10 %)
and sisters 8 %), and fathers only followed then (6 %), among them contacts
considered as confidential in similar emotional situations.
The
next life situation referred to a contact resolving a similar tension: If, for any reason the interviewee is
depressed, sad or upset - who would he approach with his sorrow? According
to the investigation university students would primarily count on the
consolation of their partner (44 %),
many would first let their hair down require consolation from their mother (11 %). Other type of contact
hardly ever appears among those to whom they would speak about the reason of
their sorrow.
What
ever is the reason of sorrow, the second choice by most was a close friend (27
%), then their mother (20 %), followed by distant friends (12 %). The next in
the line was the sister (7.5 %) and only after them were fathers mentioned (5
%). The concrete life situation indicating an emotional crisis presented the
outstanding role of contacts which - examining with earlier questions -
primarily “listen to” the problems of the interviewee and with whom they can
“discuss” their sorrow or joy.
The
above two situtations outlined concrete
emotional crises and in both cases the role of friends and partners
excelled with their emotional supportive
function, followed by a lower ratio of the role of mothers and sisters in
sharing sorrow or reducing an upset condition. Fathers can hadly be found in a
similar situation among the consoling confidants despite the fact that their
respect - as it was earlier experienced - is outstanding and they also play a
significant role in critical and instructive situations in the field of psychic
support and guidance of university students.
When they are
facing a significant decision which perhaps has an influence on
their entire future life - for example if they want to change their job or move
to another part of the country - and
they want to ask for somebody’s
advice, close contacts are also important. With regard to the similarly
important decision outlined in the example the leading advice providers are the
partners (44 %) and the parents,
primarily mothers (27 %), then fathers (11 %). Dissimilarly to the
earlied described cases, when university students are preparing decisions of a
life-long effect, they less rely on the advice of their friends (7 %).
Undoubtedly taking a similarly important decision differs from the earlier examined
situations indicating a psychic crisis from the point of fact that basically
target-rational and non-emotional issues have to be decised and this is
obviously more to be shared with the members of their family than with their
friends who emotionally are in fact closer to them in certain situations.
In
a similar situation the secondary chosen advisor concerning partners appears
with a slightly lower ratio (12 %) while that of mothers (25 %) and fathers (15
%) show a rise. Although the ratio of those chosen in second place among their
friends doubles (19 %), the data still indicate that university students
primarily reckon with their friends in solving their actual emotional issues.
An emotional tension and plan concerning the future are more the concern of
parents and partners, thus the role of fathers and mothers essentially
overtakes that of friends in similar decisions.
Money lending refers to
decisively instrumental, non-emotional contacts. When investigating who we
would approach for a major loan university students primarily mention their mother (37 %), then their father (20 %), who hopefully would
provide financial aid. Partners are
also mentioned to a considerable ratio (17 %), while only a very slight ratio
of the interviewees would turn to the other contacts for a major sum of loan.
Friends hardly appear here and this only confirms the earlier expounded
thoughts, namely that university friendship is hardly an instrumental,
dominantly emotional contact. At the same time the considerable ratio of
money-lending partners renders it probable that partners are frequently living
in a type of economic community (or are compelled to live in such a
situation?), thus they come after the parents in the line of those who provide
loans.
It
should be remarked that according to a ten year earlier national representative
survey the majority of Hungarian friendships represented instrumental bonds
while the present university friendships were not characterized by the priority
of emotions /Utasi, 1990/, and this phenomenon was also confirmed by the
studies of the last years analizing recent friendships /Utasi, 1994, Albert, F.
- Dávid, B., 1998, Angelusz, R. - Tardos, R. 1998/. It seems that living
conditions of university students greatly differ from those a decade ago and to
those of the present active population, consequently a stronger emotional
motivation operates the friendship of both the university students and the
active-age persons. Earlier housebuilding in a “kaláka” team, the “socialist
second economy” shaped dominantly target-motivated friendships frequently based
on reciprocal work loans. /Sik, E., 1988, Utasi, Á., 1991/. At the same time it
is also true that there is more instrumental element in the friendship of the
present active-age persons, and emotions play a slighter role than in the
friendship of university students.
From
among the secondary money lending contacts partners are to be found on the
first place (19 %), followed by fathers (15 %), close friends (14 %) and
mothers (14 %).
According
to the ten years old data of internationally representative surveys the
Hungarian sample showed a particular feature, namely that mothers meant the
primary “source of money” while in the richer countries the interviewees first
turned to their fathers for a more considerable loan /Pahl, R. E., 1984, Utasi,
Á., 1991/. It seems that the trend has not changed since, narrow means of the
family mostly let mothers handle the family budget, thus also the unified task
of decision over the rights and obligations of “economic money handling”.
Consequently the parents (mother and father) together represent the dominant
source of financial loans for the majority of the questioned university students.
At
the same time, in the sample of university students - and compared with earlier
national data - the role of banks is considerably less among the loan sources.
Most probably the reason is that university students have no real estate
securities and therefore banks do not provide loans for them. This renders it
unambiguous that university students whose parents are short of funds and
cannot provide loans to their children, will most probably remain short of cash
and can hardly count on institutional assistance.
Contact
functions and types
During our investigation we experienced that
the interviewees place a differing importance on the individual contact
functions and we also found that the various contact functions seem to attract
eachother, namely we found variants which indicated “related” contact
functions. The cluster analysis simultaneously indicating the six contact
functions showed a particular differentiation in the contacts of university
students and outlined among them three well demarked contact types.
a)
Partnership
(43.4 %)
A
broad circle of the interviewees primarily satisfy their contact necessities
with claiming a partner who understands and listens to their problems and
shares their everyday worries. The claim of a preferred partner usually refers
to the form of contact presuming a closed pair (diad). If we compare the ratio
of those belonging to the “partnership” group with the self-identificational
index symbolizing the economic circumstances of the family we experience a
higher than average level of contact type over the line of “poor” and “lower
class”.
b)
Short
of partnership (6.4 %)
Each
variants indicating the six contact functions in the case of those “short of
partnership” allow us to believe that their contacts do not satisfy their
claims in any field. Although only a relatively few belong to this gorup, their
number must not be ignored. The ratio of those, “short of partnership” is
highest on the top and bottom of the selfidentificational hierarchy indicating
the economic situation of the family. Every six of those who identify
themselves as “poor” and every eight of those who consider themselves belonging
to the “upper class” are “short of partnership”. While in the case of those
with a poorer original background the contradictions concerning integration
into the status-mobile intellectual circle burden the building of contacts and
make some persons short of partnership, in the case of those who were
socialized into the upper class, most probably the higher than average extreme
individualism catalizes the “shortage of partnership”.
c)
Companionship
(50.2 %)
Those
belonging to the “companionship” group have contacts according to all examined
function variants with which they can reckon and who is available in the case
of need. There are emotional supporters if needed, strict critics or
companionship among the surrounding persons. Most probably many of them live in
an open social circle, thus finding somebody for each contact function in their
broad contact network. About half of the university students belong to this
group. The ratio of the “companionship” gorup finding a companion for each
contact function, according to the identificational scale refering to the
economic situation of the family, grows parallel with the increasing welfare of
the parental family which means that prosperity increases the ratio of
companionable individuals with supporters of all emotional functions. Poverty
in childhood narrowes the emotionally supportive contact circle of the
university students.
Identificational
type of contacts
It
can be presumed now that there are some who long for contacts in numerous
functions but because of their living conditions do not receive them from their
surrounding and there are some who based on their living conditions could have
a broad circle of contacts but impersonal bonds of differing functions are not
or only slightly important. The selfidentificational categorization of the
claim and ability of setting up contacts was described with four contact-making
type line of thoughts during the investigation. The interviewees indicated on a
seven-grade scale the extent they feel one or the other of four contact-making
type (1 - not all, 7 - fully) characterizes them /Pines, A. - Aronson, E.
1988/.
The
question of the first contact-making type formulated the opinion of those who make contact with ease and are also
easily accepted by their surrounding, by their community. About one third of
the interviewees (32 %) placed themselves on the top two grades of this scale indicating
the “open” type of contact. They identify themselves as open, able to set up
and receive the contacts to the full extent. They do not suffer from
inhibitions, they do not feel to be a burden to their surrounding with their
“forwardness” and they do not feel to be left without company at any time
(Average sample: 4.6, Std. dev. 1.6/.
Those
who admit an ambivalent attitude
toward setting up and maintaining contacts are retiring from the contacts fearing to be insulted. They feel that
close contacts would be desirable and live in companionship and a community but
they are restrained primarily by the fear of eventual offence or insult which
usually are linked with bonds. This fearing and retiring ambivalent feeling is
found to be unambiguous by one fifth of the interviewees (Grade 6-7 by 21 %)
with regard to their own contact making (Average sample: 3.4, Std dev. 1.9).
The
next contact making attitude is admitted, by
the ambivalent contact makers similar to the previous group. They would
also like to get closer to others, they desire human bonds and contacts but
their approach is hindered by their ambivalent scope of emotions. Ambivalence
in this group, in contrast to the previous, is not caused by the fear of insult
but the fear of refusal. Evaluating
themselves on a low level they feel that they are less or not at all important
for others. They long for contacts but their contact making is slowed down
or hindered by their low self evaluation and lack of self confidence. Almost
every fifth of the university students (Grade 6-7 by 19.5 %) identified
themselves with this attitude (Average sample: 3.4, Std dev. 1.5).
There
is also a particular type of contact which formulates the opinion of those who find the contacts less important and
who hold independence particularly from companionship more significant than
support, appreciation and care radiating from these contacts. For them it
is more important not to depend on others and others should not depend on them.
This extreme individual independence desire appeared in the opinion of nearly
one tenth of the interviewees (Grade 6-7 by 8.5 %) shaping the contact building
of this group. (Average sample: 2.6, Std dev. 1.7)
We
examined those who categorized themselves as belonging to the various
selfidentificational groups from the point of view which contact function or
claim they pointed primarily out from the six different functions. Those who
indicated the “open” category most probably find a companion, a supporter, a
critic and emotional supportive partner in the field of all six functions. The
correlative values refer everywhere to significantly positive contacts with
variants measuring existing contact functions.
In
the case of those categorized in the other three types with all variants which
measured the extent of emotional support and assistance, the correlative values
were found to be negative. Namely that those who feel less able to set up
contact, to be ambivalent, fearing refusal or insult or emphasizing their
independence confine themselves from building contacts will most probably
difficult to find (to search for?) a supportive companion than those who
believe to be open and suitable to build contacts. This means that the contact
selfidentification may shape, in some cases hinder or reduce while in other
cases amplify the circle of supporters.
Negative
feelings and the typology of feelings
Contact
building is frequently hindered by negative feelings and thoughts.
Self-evaluation decreases under their impact and occasionally turn the person
introvert who without negative thoughts and feelings was earlier open to human
contacts.
The
investigation composed eleven negative feelings (1) tiredness, (2) frustration,
(3) hopelessness, (4) deception, (5) impotency, (6) upsetness, (7)
sickly-weakness, (8) worthlessness, (9) lack
of sleep, (10) callousness (burn out feeling) and being (11) without
anybody to depend on and searched for the negative feelings and thoughts which
most frequently dominate university students. Or if reviewed together what
ratio of university students suffer or not suffer from negative feelings
according to the variants and data comprising the eleven negative feelings and
what proportion of the interviewees are more characterized by a positive or
negative attitude. Similarly to the previous the interviewees indicated the
frequency of negative feelings on a seven-grade scale (1 - never, 7 - always).
The
interviewees selected “tiredness” to the highest ratio of the eleven listed
negative feelings (10 %), followed by “lack of sleep” (8 %) and “upset-depressed”
mood (8 %) on the highest two grades (Grade 6-7) of the seven-grade scale as
the frequently occurring negative feeling-thought of their life. The least
negative feelings are deception and physical weakness among those indicated ont
the top grades of the scale. The average sample indicates a significant
difference between the negative feelings ranging from 2.1 (callousness) to 4.2
(tiredness). From among the mentioned eleven negative thoughts the earlier
mentioned “tiredness” (4.2) is followed by “upset” (3.7) and “frustration”
(3.5) among the feelings of university students.
From
among the eleven negative feelings one quarter of the sample does not meet any
one of the negative feelings (23 %), one third indicates 1-2, another third 3-5
negative feelings while every tenth of the interviewees indicate more than 5
different negative feelings with a certain frequency.
The
per capita average is 2.4 with regard to frequency of one or the other of the
eleven negative feelings described in the entire sample. A certain
stratum-difference was experienced when we observed the trend according to the
schooling level of fathers (under 8: 3.2, eight classes: 2.2, skilled worker
training school: 2.3, matriculation: 2.1, high school 2.5 and university 2.9).
With regard to the children of those who did not complete their elementary
schooling thus living with a lack of knowledge and a low marketability and the
children of graduates living with a better marketability, the average
indicating negative feelings is higher than in the average of the entire
sample. Namely those who were born in families of the greatest want suffer most
from negative feelings together with exactly those who were socialized in the
most favourable cultural circle of origin. The extreme poles most probably
build a strong self-justificational compulsion for achievement among university
students and this pressure generates negative feelings in the indicated groups
of origin of the university students.
Based
on the cluster analysis made with variants indicating the extent of negative
feelings we outlined three types of feelings in the sample: that of the
“optimists” (40.9 %), that of the “moderately optimistic” 46.3 %), and that of
the “pessimists” (12.8 %).
Comparing
the three groups of feelings with the selfidentificational hierarchy of life
style with regard to the origin of the family we experienced that “optimists”
can be found to a considerably higher ratio than the average among those who
are categorized as belonging to the “upper middle class” and “upper class”,
namely living under more advantageous cultural and economic circumstances than
the average. As the reciprocity of the previous the ratio of “pessimists” -
moving upward on the hierarchy of life style towards the “upper class” - gradually
decreases while it again rises reaching the top level. Namely following the
trend experienced on the summarized scale of negative feelings the ratio of
frustrated pessimists again shows a slight rise among those who live under the
most favourable circumstances of origin. “Moderately optimists” can be found to
an approximately similar ratio on every strata of the selfidentificational
style of living hierarchy, on every level of the hierarchy, but their ratio is
somewhat lower than the average on the two extreme poles of the hierarchy.
Examining
the group proportions according to feelings along the selfidentificational
scale indicating the economic situation of the family we find even more
characteristic differences between the various levels of the hierarchy. The
ratio of “optimists” is unambiguously decreasing when proceding towards the
higher levels of prosperity. More than half of those categorizing themselves as
poor are placed in the group of “pessimists” gained with cluster analysis.
“Moderate optimism” is only weaker than the average in the two extreme strata
of the hierarchy concerning possession prosperity origin. In its summary the
positive and negative feeling, optimism and pessimism indicate a link both with
the income-possession and the style of life of the family.
The
feelings, the more positive or more negative attitudes are frequently reflected
by the human look but most probably one also well indicated by the picture one
carries or believes about one self. In the interest of examining the
selfportrait radiating and expressing the feelings we placed seven expressions
on the questionnaire - ranging from 1) joyful to 7) sad. They had to indicate
the one which they seemed to mostly identify themselves with. With this method
the university students identified themselves on a seven grade joyfulness-sadness scale.
Half
of the interviewees (47 %) idetified themselves with the two bottom grade of
joyfulness and their ratio was similar to that who - based on the cluster
analysis made with the variants of negative feelings - were placed among the
“optimists” (40 %). The two faces expressing the saddest feelings were
indicated by fewer interviewees (2.5 %) than their ration among the
“pessimists” 12.8 %) revealed with the cluster analysis of the scales of
negative feelings. Thus university students see themselves rather cheer ful
than sad and every sixth university student identified himself (15 %) with the
face expressing the most merry feeling. Even the selfportrait of those who
indicate various negative feelings radiates more joy and optimism than
suggested by their thoughts.
Some
similarities and differences in the contacts and feelings
of Israeli and
Hungarian university students
The
sample of the survey in Israel was also comprised in 1999 (N=150), similarly to
that in Hungary, although the number of elements is much higher in the
Hungarian sample (N=751). At present the two samples are only suitable to
compare a few dimensions; the investigation will be continued and the
possibilities of comparison will be extended in the future.
Using
the previously outlined self-categorizational situations we compared the
contact-making abilities of the university students of both countries with the
ratio of those categorized as “secure attachment”, “anxious ambivalent”,
“avoidant but not by choice” and “avoidant by choice” types. All four types
were evaluated on the scale from 1 to 7 according to what extent the
interviewees found the given attitude in contact making characteristic of
thenselves (1 - at all, 7 - to the full extent).
A
similar trend of the secure open contact making can be found in both countries.
Gradually more people voted for the higher values, meaning that in both
countries many university students feel that they are open to make easy contact
with others. At the same time there is a somewhat higher ratio in Hungary among
those who feel themselves unambiguously open (Grade 6-7) than among the Israeli
students. The average values also show that somewhat more people indicated
higher values to the type representing open human contacts in the Hungarian
sample (4.6) than in the Israeli sample (4.3).
Observing
together the samples of the two countries with regard to the ambivalent contact
type fearing offence we find the reciprocal of the previous trend for gradually
less people voted for the higher values in the sample of both countries. This
indicates that the majority in both countries do not consider themselves as
being characters who retreat from contacts or show an attitude being afraid of
an offence. A greater ratio in both countries categorized themselves as
belonging to the bottom three grades of the scale and did not or hadly
identified themselves with the indicated ambivalent attitude. At the same time
there is a considerably higher ratio in the Hungarian sample of those to
definitely feeling to belong to the ambivanlent contact making type fearing
insult (Grade 6-7), than in the Israeli sample. The index average is also
somewhat higher in the Hungarian (3.4) than in the Israeli (3.3) sample namely
the ambivalent retiring contact attitude fearing insult in Hungary is higher
than among the university students in Israel.
The
lower grades of the “avoidant but not by choice” type, namely among those who
consider themselves of low value show a considerable ratio of interviewees,
from the sample of both countries, then on the middle grades we find more from
Israel and finally on the top grades which indicate the type of “avoidant but
not by choice” again shows more Hungarian than Israeli students. The average
point value also confirms this for the average is considerably higher in the
Hungarian (3.4) than in the Israeli (2.8) sample. Thus the award ambivalent
attitude identifying itself with a low self-value is more characteristic to the
Hungarians than to the Israeli students.
The
type of “avoidant by choice”, retreating from contact building is also sharply
separating the samples of both countries according to the value of points: to a
broad group which refuses the extremely individualistic contact type, or at
least evaluates it to belong to a very low level (pont 1-3) and a narrower
group which giving their vote to one of the top points indicated that they
greatly identify themselves with the outlined informal independence. Hungarian
university students refused (with point 1) the contact denying attitude
prefering independence to a great proportion while compared to the Israeli,
Hungarians placed themselves to a double proportion on the top grade (7) of the
scale, namely among those prefering definite independence. This may lead to the
conclusion that there is a contradiction within the Hungarian sample. However
in the summary the top grades (Grade 6-7) of prefering independence and
refusing contacts show a higher ration in Israel than in Hungary. This is also
indicated by the average value of the index, which is somewhat higher in the
Israeli (2.7) than in the Hungarian (2.58) sample.
The
comparison of the contactbuilding types obviously indicated that not
withstanding the extremely individual contact type prefering idependence and
refusing contacts - the Hungarian students identified themselves with every
type to a greater extent than the Israeli students. Individualism greatly
accompanies civilizational development and appear a higher level of satisfying
requirements. The investigation does not provide the possibility to reveal
deeper connections with regard to the phenomenon. Nevertheless independence
from the contacts, the stronger affirmation of informality is characteristic of
the Israeli students while a relatively considerable group of such persons can
also be found among the Hungarian students. At the same time their entire
proportion is not prominently high in any of the two samples. It can be stated
that the preference of the contacts is mostly stronger on the level of higher
prosperity and civilization than the desire for individual independence.
The
comparison of negative feelings, of frustration and the variant measuring the
feeling of callousness also indicated considerable differences in the psyche of
university students in both countries. The greatest difference beween the
countries was indicated by the index measuring the feeling of depression. There
is a high ratio among Israeli students who never or only rarely met this
feeling while the ratio among Hungarian students who frequently experience
depression is higher (Israel: 2.3, Hungary 3.7).
The
highest grades of the variant indicating most negative feelings represent more
Hungarians than Israeli students meaning that the majority of negative feelings
are more correlated to themselves by Hungarians than by Israelis. However two
of the negative values indicate a stronger Israeli identification: “tiredness”
(average values: Israel - 4.4, Hungary - 4.2) which can described as the
weakest negative feeling among the examined ones and on the other hand the
feeling of “callousness” (average values: Israel - 2.9, Hungary - 2.1), which
compared to the previous indicates the strongest negative feeling. The top
grades of both these indices show more Israeli than Hungarian students.
If
we reduced the variants indicating the 11 negative feelings into a single scale
and examined the national average of the heaped, reduced index measuring the
negative feelings we find that the value of the negative feeling per capita is
higher in the Hungarian sample (Hungary: average 29.4, Std. dev. 8.2) than in
the Israeli sample (Israel: average 26.9, scattering 7.4). Even according to
the averages the negative feelings have a more powerful effect on the Hungarian
students than on the Israelis.
The
selfcategorized examination of the types of contact building indicated that the
various groups and strata of interviewees in both countries placed a different
importance on the contacts and the contacts of different content usually
provide help for the sutdents in different dimensions. In order to compare the
most important contacts of the different functions of the contact network -
using the above described life situations - we searched for the persons the
Israeli and Hungarian students would primarily expect to help.
For
resolving the emotional crisis - as it was earlied indicated - and for clearing
the tension following a conflict among spouses or partners we searched for the
contact the interviewees would primarily select. In both countries the same
confidant contact was selected: primarily close friends (Hungary - 41.3, Israel
- 40.6 %), followed by the partner (Israel - 29.7 %, Hungary - 25.9 %), with
whom the conflict would be directly cleared and attempt to solve the conflict
with the concerned person. However a somewhat higher ratio of the Israeli
students would turn to their partner than the Hungarians. In the indicated
critical situation, following the partners, most students would approach the
female members of their family and primarily their mother (Hungary - 16,1 %,
Israel - 9.4 %), who would be approached particularly by the Hungarians for
emotional assistance, more so than the Israelis.
A
similar proportion of students would approach their sisters in a confidential
conflict in both countries. Fathers can be infrequently found among the
confidants in both countries in a similar case. Nevertheless slightly more
Israelis would approach their father with their sorrow than in Hungary. A
psychologist, psychiatrist, family advisor or a priest can rarely be found both
with regard to the Israeli and Hungarian sample. There is hardly any university
student who would expect consolation from them in their similar problem.
In
the case of upsetness or sorrow induced not by a partnership but for any other
reason, a high proportion of those can be seen in most countries who turn for
consolation to their partner. The emotional assistance by the partners is
particularly strong in the Israeli sample (Israel - 52 %, Hungary - 44 %).
However their high ratio, compared with other contacts is leading the list in
the Hungarian sample. In the case of upsetness friends are following the
partners in both countries (Israel - 25.2 %, Hungary - 32.4 %) with regard to
consolation. In the case of upsetness and depression there is a particularly
high ratio of Hungarian students who would turn to their friends, but there is
also a slightly higher ratio of those who in the Hungarian sample would turn to
their mother in a similar situation (Israel - 7.9 %, Hungary - 10.8 %) for
emotional consolation. There is a relatively small proportion in both countries
of those who cannot and do not want to turn to anybody for consolation in the
case of sorrow or upsetness. There are very few in both samples who would turn
to their father for consolation, just like in the case of professional psychic
helps.
The
choice for a confidant, the line of prefered contacts in an emotional critical
situation indicates that the female members of the family - particularly
mothers and sisters - provide more emotional support in both countries than the
male members of the family. According to the data in both countries, in the
case of upsetness and depressed mood - students dominantly turn to three of
their contacts for an emotional help, namely they trust their partner, close
friend or mother. This trio means practically the emotional supportive contacts
for the university students in both countries.
More
than the previous is the circle of confidants polarized if the students search
for a partner in consultation with regard to an important decision. If they
turn to somebody prior to an important, life-effecting decision, it is
primarily the partner in both countries (Israel - 46 %, Hungary - 44 %). The
advisory confidential contacts then indicate a considerable difference in the
two countries. The ratio of those who would turn for advice to their mother is
much higher in the Hungarian (27.2 %) than in the Israeli (8.7 %) sample.
Fathers and close friends indicate the next two contacts while fathers (Hungary
- 11.1 %, Israel - 16.5 %) and friends (Israel - 14.9 %, Hungary - 7.5 %) are
more approached by Israeli students than by Hungarians.
The
contact providing a considerable financial loan was the only contact function
where we did not investigate primarily emotional support but a dominantly
insturmental assistance. Most probably as the consequence of the difference in
the economic order of the two countries, contacts chosen for loan also
indicated a significant difference. A conspicuously high ratio of Hungarian
students would primarily turn to their mother (Israel - 15 %, Hungary - 37.5 %)
while the broadest circle of the Israelis would ask their father (Israel - 32.5
%, Hungary - 20 %) for a loan. Idicating the parents together (Israel - 14.3 %,
Hungary - 7.1 %) shows a slightly higher ratio among the Israeli students would
ask for a loan from their partner than the Hungarians but essentially more
Israeli students would (or could) turn to a bank (Israel - 18.3 %, Hungary - 4
%) than in Hungary. In fact a bank would hardly every provide a loan to
university students as they have no real estate securities while according to
the answers by Israeli university students, banks may mean a source of loan,
for these banks do not consider real estate as the only security but most
probably consider the “intellectual asset, capital” as a security against a
loan.
Because
of the shortage of funds, according to the Hungarian sample, the financial
means are concentrated in the hands of mothers and an eventual loan can only
come from a “saving” from these. On the level of a higher prosperity the right
over the financial means is more in the hands of the father where the loan can
be provided from the balance between the income and the expenses. Partners in Israel
(Israel - 6.3 %, Hungary - 17.4 %) are able to more strongly retain their
economic independence while the Hungarian university student partners, because
of the shortage of financial means are more compelled to mutually economically
also assist eachother than in Israel.
In
their entirety the contact system of Israeli and Hungarian university students
is very similar and this also refers to their claim and attitude towards the
contacts. However, based on the comparative data a pronounced difference
appeared in the investigation. The first definite difference is in the lower
selfevaluation of the Hungarian university students, also being more timid, and
less able to make contact. On the other hand individualism is more
characteristic among the Israeli students, accompanied by the prefered desire
for independence and the wish to deny contacts. Thus there is a higher ratio of
Israeli university students who believe not to necessitate human supportive
contacts or emotional assistance.
Among
the Hungarian university students there is a high ratio of those who live in a
negative sphere of psyche and there is a particularly high ratio of depressed
mood among them. Summarizing the negative feeling measured in various
examinations it became clear that more Hungarian students suffer under the
burden of negative thoughts and feelings than in Israel, while it also became
obvious that - despite the above findings - those suffering from the gravest
negative feelings, those who frequently consider themselves as “callous” appear
with a double ratio in the Israeli than in the Hungarian sample. This is
presumably the consequence of the higher extreme desire of Israeli students for
individualism.
Mostly
the emotional assistance of friends, partners and mothers are thought of in
both countries in the case of an emotional crisis, they are most frequently
mentioned among the confidants. In an emotional crisis more Israeli students
count on their partner and father, while more Hungarians are looking for the
emotional help of their mother. A similar difference is indicated with regard
to instrumental supportive contacts: In Israel the role of fathers and
extra-family help is stronger while in Hungary the instrumental assistance of
mothers and partners - spouses is more frequent.
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